Wurstburg has gained yet another institution of considerable importance. At the request of Knight Wurst, the Wurstburg Press Office (WSI) has officially been established, tasked with providing fast, accurate and appropriately knightly coverage of events taking place at the castle, throughout Wurstburg and, whenever necessary, in the outside world.
According to the castle administration, the new office became necessary because so much has been happening around Knight Wurst lately that the chronicler finally pointed out that he only has two hands – and needs one of them just to hold the quill.
Naturally, WSI will operate as an independent press office.
Its independence is personally guaranteed by Knight Wurst, who also appoints its correspondent, provides his horse, accommodation and travelling sausages, and, when necessary, tells him where to go.
The first special correspondent of WSI is Richard Würstli, who previously performed duties of an unspecified nature around the castle, although according to reliable sources, even then he somehow knew everything that was going on.
Würstli’s assignment is simple:
He must be wherever something is happening.
If something happens in Kötcse, he will be in Kötcse.
If an arrow flies in Markaz, he will be in Markaz.
If handshakes are exchanged in Berlin, he will be in Berlin.
If negotiations take place in Moscow, he will be in Moscow.
And if something happens in Wurstburg, for once he won’t have to travel anywhere.
For his work, the correspondent has been issued a notebook, a quill, modern image-recording equipment and three spare pairs of socks.
No sword.
Knight Wurst maintains that a journalist armed with a pen is considerably more dangerous than one armed with a sword.
From now on, WSI reports from around the world will begin with the following words:
“Our special correspondent reports.”
From where?
From wherever he happens to be.
The Press Office already has its first major assignment. Wurstburg is preparing for a grand international knights’ tournament, meaning Richard Würstli is expected to begin field operations within days.
WSI management has, however, reminded its correspondent that the names of surprise guests should, in future, only be disclosed after the surprise has actually taken place.
The Press Office has drawn the appropriate conclusions from the recent incident involving Knight József Mónus.
Precisely what those conclusions were remains unknown.
Wurstburg Press Office (WSI)
News from Wurstburg and the world. Depending on where Würstli happens to be.